Harry's Magical Day
by Trevor-McJackal
Summary: And there was sex. More sex. Boromir's dead body. And disturbance.


Disclaimer: I obviously don't own this. Well, I wrote the story but that doesn't really count. Not really. Not in the world of Hey-I'm-gonna-sue- your-ass.  
  
Author's Notes: word. i like sqwiggly things.  
  
Harry's Magical Day  
  
It was a deep, dark, and magical Friday evening at Hogwarts. The author had drank far to much Yoo Hoo and vanilla coke and someone was retarded enough to give her candy. And there was no turning back now. She was to far into the hole in the ground known as The Hole Where Hyper People Go, and it was impossible to stop her. So she wrote a Harry potter fan fic as a result.   
  
Harry reclined in the large poofy arm chair in the Gryffindor common room. Ron sat in a chair opposite of Harry and Hermione was in the library study for something. Scabbers sat on Ron's lap and Hedwig eyed the sleeping rat from her perch across the room, and Harry munched on gummy worms. There was a whole lot of nothing going on at the moment but little did the characters know that this was all going to change because the author was on a caffeine high. Before Harry could say, Great magical glow worm eating pot pie made from pot on a Saturday night, Hedwig took flight from her perch and swooped down to eat the rat on Ron's stomach. Harry lept up from his chair and dove for the low flying white owl.... and tripped. Clumsy, clumsy fool. And in the tripping he magically landed on Ron, and Hedwig flew back to her perch. And the author was pleased. The gummy worms had fallen all over Ron, and scabbers stole one and scampered off. Harry had meant to stand up and collect all the gummy worms, but due to the madness of the author, he noticed how perdy Ron was. Well, not really pretty, and not that his eyes sparkled or anything, but Harry was attracted for some reason. And after Harry realized he had been crushing Ron's lithe (ah!!! That fucking word! I hate that word) body, he started to lift his body off of Ron's. But Ron wrapped his magical arms around Harry and held him there and looked into his green eyes with a passionate, drooling stare. Harry was a little confused and he tried to pull himself off Ron again, but was still held there by Ron. Harry watched as the drool dripped from the corner of Ron's mouth and, it fell to his robes. And then the author began to run out of filler. She wanted there to be more of a story here but it was inevitable. Her intentions were far too obvious and she gave up. And the two boys bended to her will. As if there were.....bendy things. Like....silly putty. And they kissed and what a magical kiss. There was everything that could possibly be in a kiss and more. And the author danced merrily. It was a joyous moment in her life. Harry pulled away from the lip lock and looked at Ron with his eyes, which were used for seeing. His lips were all poofy as they usually are in fan fics because it seems like the thing that happens when there is snogging happening. Yes my friends. And the snogging begins. And then it happened. Pretty soon they were both naked and tumbling about the room like two 12 year old gymnasts. It was a massive session of incredible snog. They were swapping bodily fluids, left and right. There was sweat and spit and hair and anything else that may have been from them, flying around the hair like a small hurricane. And the author was spinning around in her chair and crying with joy as the two did as she commanded. It was beautiful. It was sex between two best friends, and neither of them cared.  
When they were done, the room was in pieces. The sofas were ripped to bits and the rug was all unraveled and anything that could have been broken was. Good thing that this wasn't happening in one of the books, or someone would surely walk into the room when this incredible event was happening and it wouldn't have been good. But no, the twitchy author with her sugar filled body would not let something like this happen to Harry and Ron, although she wished it had been Harry and Draco.... But it was time for a change of pace in the world of slash fan fic.  
The two boys looked at each other and wondered, Oh Dear God, WHY?! And the question would never be answered. Because they weren't ever going to talk because the author was not in the mood. She just wanted her fix. And here it was.  
The boys got up and got dressed and went to potions class. While there, Harry found his mind wandering when he looked over at his arch enemy, Draco Malfoy. And you thought it ended with Harry and Ron. Oh my little guinea pig, you thought wrong. Harry liked the way Draco's eyes sparkled when he got an answer right and Snape made him feel like a king or something. Ron noticed Harry's distracted look and wondered why the author couldn't have stopped with him and Harry, but he hoped that maybe he would get action again too.  
When class was over, Harry stuck around to talk (oh no! Here comes dialogue!) to Malfoy. Ron wanted to stick around to but he decided it might be a better idea to go elsewhere, so he did. Harry walked over to Draco and looked at him with his eyes, which were still used to see. "What do you want, Potter?" Draco said with a sneer. Harry suggestively leaned on the desk and said, "You know what I want, Malfoy." Draco rolled his eyes. Yes he knew. He knew oh to well what was about to happen. He had placed in the situation before and he didn't have to think to much to understand. "Alright," Draco said, "Let's just get this fucking thing over with." Harry was happy that Draco understood so well, and he hoped that it wouldn't affect their relationship as enemies. So Harry leapt onto the table and his robes disappeared with a poof. He looked around, confused. Where the hell did his clothing go? He turned to see Ron standing in the doorway of the Potions room. He though maybe it was Ron's doing... but wait...Ron sucked at anything that had to do with a wand. So it wasn't him, but Ron joined the other two. Harry looked around, and spotted Snape. Was it him? No... he was a potions teacher. Couldn't have been him. But Snape joined the three boys. Harry looked around again, getting more and more confused. He saw Dumbledore, who immediately joined them, and then Aragorn, Legolas and the body of Boromir from the Lord of the rings. None of them seemed to have made his clothing disappear. He gave up on trying to figure it out and they all had a massive orgy. It was incredible. There was sweat and some random magic stuff going on. Harry would never be the same person again. And the author was very pleased. And she danced, and danced, and danced and danced. Until her legs fell of and the world exploded.  
  
The end. 


End file.
